(and one thing Allies can do)
The political climate is shifting, and not in our favor. With a wave of anti-LGBTQ+ executive orders and legislative attacks rolling out at both the state and federal levels, LGBTQ+ families across the country need to take proactive steps to protect themselves.
We’ve been here before—those of us who lived through the pre-marriage equality days know the drill. Back then, we had to create legal safeguards for our families because the government wouldn’t recognize us. Now, we must take those same steps again to ensure our rights aren’t stripped away.
While families in red states like Iowa, Texas, and Florida face particularly urgent threats due to aggressive anti-LGBTQ+ legislation, no state is entirely safe. What happens at the federal level—through executive orders, judicial rulings, and potential policy rollbacks—could impact queer families nationwide. This is a moment for action—not panic, but preparation.
Legal experts are already warning LGBTQ+ families to prepare for potential changes in federal protections. Organizations like Family Equality (familyequality.org) and Lambda Legal (lambdalegal.org) have outlined essential actions to take now, including securing legal relationships, getting documentation in order, and ensuring that loved ones know and can enforce your wishes.
Here are five critical steps LGBTQ+ families across the U.S. should take right now to secure their futures.
1. Protect Your Family: Legalize and Secure Your Relationships
For decades, LGBTQ+ families have fought for every scrap of legal recognition. Before marriage equality, we cobbled together wills, power of attorney documents, and second-parent adoptions just to ensure basic rights. We hoped those days were behind us—but the reality is, legal recognition can be taken away. We must prepare accordingly.
Marriage Matters – If you are in a long-term relationship but haven’t legally married, now is the time to consider it. Marriage offers crucial legal protections, including inheritance rights, medical decision-making authority, and spousal benefits. If marriage equality is challenged at the federal level, those already married may have stronger protections than those who wait.
Second-Parent Adoptions – If you are a non-biological parent, you need more than just your name on a birth certificate. Courts in hostile states have ruled that birth certificates alone do not establish legal parenthood. A court-approved adoption or parentage judgment provides stronger protection.
Parental Rights for Trans Parents – Trans parents should take extra precautions, as legal recognition of gender identity is under attack. If your legal gender marker differs from when your child was born, consult an attorney to ensure your parental rights are secure.
Take action now while legal mechanisms are still intact. Family Equality offers excellent legal guides for LGBTQ+ parents navigating these issues (familyequality.org).
2. Get Your Documents in Order
Even if you are legally married or have secured parental rights, you need documents that clearly outline your wishes—because if the legal landscape shifts, those documents could be your strongest line of defense.
Wills and Estate Plans – Without a will, your assets may not go to your spouse or partner, depending on how courts interpret intestacy laws. Secure your legacy now.
Power of Attorney & Medical Directives – If you become incapacitated, who will make decisions for you? Don’t leave that up to the courts or hostile family members—have clear documents that legally grant your partner, spouse, or chosen family the authority to act on your behalf.
Parenting Agreements – If you are co-parenting outside of a traditional legal structure, put your agreements in writing. This is especially crucial for LGBTQ+ families navigating shared custody arrangements.
Legal advocacy organizations like Lambda Legal provide resources on securing these documents (lambdalegal.org).
3. Follow and Engage with Your State LGBTQ+ Organizations
National organizations play a critical role in LGBTQ+ advocacy, but your state-level LGBTQ+ organizations are on the front lines, fighting state-specific attacks and providing critical resources to families.
Find Your State LGBTQ+ Organization – Many states have LGBTQ+ advocacy groups like Equality Florida (eqfl.org), Equality Texas (equalitytexas.org), One Iowa (oneiowa.org), and more. Check Equality Federation’s directory to find your state’s organization (equalityfederation.org).
Look for Legal & Advocacy Resources – Many state LGBTQ+ organizations provide guidance on legal protections, legislative updates, and community support.
Sign Up for Action Alerts – Stay informed about threats to LGBTQ+ rights in your state and learn how you can help push back.
State-level LGBTQ+ organizations are some of our strongest defense lines—make sure you're engaged with them. Check Equality Federation’s directory to find your state’s organization (equalityfederation.org).
4. Contact Your Lawmakers—Tell Your Story
We are facing an unprecedented wave of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation in state legislatures and at the federal level. Many lawmakers pushing these policies claim they “don’t know any LGBTQ+ families.” It’s time to change that.
Make It Personal – Share who you are, what your family looks like, and how these policies affect you. Lawmakers need to hear that we are their constituents, their neighbors, and their community members.
Be Specific – Whether it’s parental rights, healthcare access, or discrimination, name the issues that matter most to you.
Don’t Let Them Ignore You – Call, email, and attend local events. If lawmakers refuse to listen, organize and make noise.
Look to your state-level LGBTQ+ organizations for their action alerts and legislative resources. Check Equality Federation’s directory to find your state’s organization (equalityfederation.org).
5. Build and Strengthen Your Community
Now, more than ever, we need to lean on one another. The LGBTQ+ community has always been strongest when we come together, and this is no exception.
Join LGBTQ+ Family Networks – Organizations like Central Iowa Rainbow Families, Family Equality (familyequality.org), PFLAG (pflag.org), and local LGBTQ+ centers provide essential support and advocacy.
Know Your Legal Resources – Groups like Lambda Legal (lambdalegal.org), the ACLU (aclu.org), and the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) (nclrights.org) can help with legal concerns.
Take Care of Each Other – Offer support to families who may be struggling, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
For Allies: Now is the Time to Step Up
If you are an ally, now is the time to support LGBTQ+ families with your voice, your vote, and your wallet.
Donate to Your State LGBTQ+ Organization – These groups are leading the fight against anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and supporting families on the ground. Find yours at equalityfederation.org.
Support National Organizations on the Front Lines – Groups like Lambda Legal (lambdalegal.org), Family Equality (familyequality.org), and the ACLU (aclu.org) are fighting for LGBTQ+ rights nationwide.
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